Ten years ago I went through the most difficult time in my life. Words cannot express the fear, hurt and lonliness that I felt during that dark time. However, although it was dark, I could see the light in the distance that gave me unexplainable peace. Although this time in my life was difficult, the power of prayer was incredible. God strategically placed some godly women in my life who were the most dedicated prayer warriors I have ever met. My mom being the leader of a Bible study, her group prayed for me diligently. I seriously felt those prayers every Monday evening as they met. There were many others in my Bible study and small groups as well. I was totally covered. It was at this time that God put a dear woman in my path. She counseled me with godly wisdom, listened to my with her whole being, prayed and then prayed some more. She went on a trip to Germany and I received a postcard that simply said that she was praying in Germany. I am not exactly sure why this had such a profound impact on me, but it did. I was amazed that someone in another country was praying for me. I realized then that prayer was indeed a mighty power. God did some major work in my life. He stretched me, held me, comforted me, refined me and showed His love and faithfulness in some big ways.
Today is the National Day of Prayer. As Christians, most of us pray often, but today I am reminded of where I came from 10 years ago. It was the power of prayer that got me through the dark. I am committing myself to pray more today. To pray for our country, for those whose lives were forever changed from 9-11. I am praying for all of the victims of hurricanes, tornados, fires and flooding. I am praying for my city, my family and friends. I am praying for those who live in other countries too. I know the power of prayer firsthand and I pray that those around the world can feel that power too, coming all the way from Elk Grove, CA. I am praying for you if you are reading this - praying that if you are in a dark place that Jesus will comfort you, guide you and surround you with prayer warriors!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
From Surviving to Thriving Women's Retreat
As I sit down here to write about this past weekend, I struggle to put it all into words - I have so many of them and they are a jumbled mess in my head! Words like, "amazing, adored, loved, encouraged, friend, laughter, awe, overwhelmed, peace, joy, excitement, and grace" are bubbling inside of me. Thank You, Jesus - You are amazing!
I was the retreat coordinator for my church's women's retreat. As I look back over the past year of planning, I am in complete awe that God pulled it off! He gave me the ultimate privelige of being a vessel for Him to use. Me. This just proves to me once again that He has a sense of humor. I am a "fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants" kinda gal. I am not very organized, I work two jobs - one of them being a daycare provider to 6 kids under the age of 6. Over the course of this past year of planning, I adjusted to married life (got married 10/10) and being a step-mom to 2. I have a 15 yr old daughter and 10 yr old son that are involved in activities. I started a new business and continued to serve in women's ministries. I tell you this to show you that it was NOT me that pulled this retreat off - that would have been impossible - it was God alone!
Is it not amazing that God can teach us so many lessons using pretty much anything? The lessons that He taught me this past year are ones that completely changed me forever, hopefully to glorify Him. I expected to learn some things through the planning process, but did not expect to have life changing lessons at the retreat itself. You see, I thought I'd be running around like a chicken with her head cut-off at the retreat. Amazingly though, I wasn't. God ironed out all of the little wrinkles and allowed me the opportunity to listen to Him as our incredible speaker, Leslie Nease spoke. On Saturday, after Leslie spoke, we had about an hour to be alone with God. I found a spot on a curb facing the Worship Center. I was on a little bit of a hill overlooking a large grass area. I was so moved. There were lots of gals sitting with their heads bowed, Bibles open with the majestic redwoods surrounding us. This is what Heaven will look like! I bowed my head and prayed, but couldn't really concentrate. The words "surrender" and "sold out" kept distracting my conversation with Him. I decided to journal. Sometimes when words don't come easily in my speech it flows through my pen instead. "Surrender what, Lord?" is what I asked. "Everything", is what He answered. You see, I have been a believer for many years and God has done some amazing work in my life. I KNOW that I am saved, but over the past few years I have felt a little disconnect. Through Leslie's speaking, God got my attention. Leslie shared her testimony and used the words "full surrender" and spoke about when we choose something over God, that is your god. Ouch - I was convicted! I do love the Lord, but do I love Him with ALL of my heart? The quick answer is always yes, but really? Sitting on that curb, writing to God, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I have a divided heart. My desire is to glorify God in every area, and I think that I do most of the time, but when I am honest, I am not always putting Him first. I have been out of balance. I desperately want to be a light to others. I want the world to look at me and clearly see Him. Do they? I think sometimes, but not always. The other words that kept popping into my head - "sold-out". What the heck is that about? I guess I'm not always the sharpest tool in the shed, so it is taking a little longer for me to get this. But so far, I think what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me is that I need to be completely sold out for Him alone - in every area of my life. In my fitness business I have some clients that are not believers and I have never addressed this. My daycare is the perfect platform to share Jesus, yet I have not. I separated my businesses from ministry, yet my life is supposed to be a ministry. I don't know if that makes sense to you, but somehow it does to me. I think that I am called to be in full-time ministry and I am terrified to make a leap of faith. I am afraid to take that leap because that means a possibility of letting go of financial security. Not that I truly have that now, but I have not completely surrendered this area to God.
Some of the other lessons that I have learned from all of this: He can do all things - really! He is truly is complete control. When He calls me to do something over my head, He comes through to work it all for His glory. I learned from the retreat that I have been in a bit of a desert place the past few years and I am very thirsty, but didn't realize it. I need to drink of His word desperately, to meditate on it and memorize it.
He is so good, so faithful, so loving! Here you go Lord, you can have my life completely, every area!
I was the retreat coordinator for my church's women's retreat. As I look back over the past year of planning, I am in complete awe that God pulled it off! He gave me the ultimate privelige of being a vessel for Him to use. Me. This just proves to me once again that He has a sense of humor. I am a "fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants" kinda gal. I am not very organized, I work two jobs - one of them being a daycare provider to 6 kids under the age of 6. Over the course of this past year of planning, I adjusted to married life (got married 10/10) and being a step-mom to 2. I have a 15 yr old daughter and 10 yr old son that are involved in activities. I started a new business and continued to serve in women's ministries. I tell you this to show you that it was NOT me that pulled this retreat off - that would have been impossible - it was God alone!
Is it not amazing that God can teach us so many lessons using pretty much anything? The lessons that He taught me this past year are ones that completely changed me forever, hopefully to glorify Him. I expected to learn some things through the planning process, but did not expect to have life changing lessons at the retreat itself. You see, I thought I'd be running around like a chicken with her head cut-off at the retreat. Amazingly though, I wasn't. God ironed out all of the little wrinkles and allowed me the opportunity to listen to Him as our incredible speaker, Leslie Nease spoke. On Saturday, after Leslie spoke, we had about an hour to be alone with God. I found a spot on a curb facing the Worship Center. I was on a little bit of a hill overlooking a large grass area. I was so moved. There were lots of gals sitting with their heads bowed, Bibles open with the majestic redwoods surrounding us. This is what Heaven will look like! I bowed my head and prayed, but couldn't really concentrate. The words "surrender" and "sold out" kept distracting my conversation with Him. I decided to journal. Sometimes when words don't come easily in my speech it flows through my pen instead. "Surrender what, Lord?" is what I asked. "Everything", is what He answered. You see, I have been a believer for many years and God has done some amazing work in my life. I KNOW that I am saved, but over the past few years I have felt a little disconnect. Through Leslie's speaking, God got my attention. Leslie shared her testimony and used the words "full surrender" and spoke about when we choose something over God, that is your god. Ouch - I was convicted! I do love the Lord, but do I love Him with ALL of my heart? The quick answer is always yes, but really? Sitting on that curb, writing to God, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I have a divided heart. My desire is to glorify God in every area, and I think that I do most of the time, but when I am honest, I am not always putting Him first. I have been out of balance. I desperately want to be a light to others. I want the world to look at me and clearly see Him. Do they? I think sometimes, but not always. The other words that kept popping into my head - "sold-out". What the heck is that about? I guess I'm not always the sharpest tool in the shed, so it is taking a little longer for me to get this. But so far, I think what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me is that I need to be completely sold out for Him alone - in every area of my life. In my fitness business I have some clients that are not believers and I have never addressed this. My daycare is the perfect platform to share Jesus, yet I have not. I separated my businesses from ministry, yet my life is supposed to be a ministry. I don't know if that makes sense to you, but somehow it does to me. I think that I am called to be in full-time ministry and I am terrified to make a leap of faith. I am afraid to take that leap because that means a possibility of letting go of financial security. Not that I truly have that now, but I have not completely surrendered this area to God.
Some of the other lessons that I have learned from all of this: He can do all things - really! He is truly is complete control. When He calls me to do something over my head, He comes through to work it all for His glory. I learned from the retreat that I have been in a bit of a desert place the past few years and I am very thirsty, but didn't realize it. I need to drink of His word desperately, to meditate on it and memorize it.
He is so good, so faithful, so loving! Here you go Lord, you can have my life completely, every area!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
He Carried Me
Ok, I admit it...I love accolades. It feels great to be told, "Way to go, you are a stud". I love they way I feel after accomplishing something tough. This past Sunday, March 13, 2011 I completed my 3rd Half Marathon. The past two I did a run/walk, but on Sunday I completed the 13.1 miles running - non-stop. If you knew me 4 years ago, you may be going into shock right now. You see, I really didn't like running. In fact, I hated it. I have asthma and running made me wheeze. Funny thing happened though - the more I run, the less I wheeze. Hmm? Back to this last half marathon....
On Thanksgiving morning, 2010, my friend Kathleen and I ran a 10K. Prior to this event, I was running about 3 miles every few days, but anything above 4 just about killed me. We ran the Turkey Trot faster than we had ever done a 10k before. I felt so good. Kathleen and I looked at each other shaking our heads as we agreed that yes, we were in fact studs! We signed up for the Shamrockin 1/2 marathon the next day and began training the week of Christmas. We did our long runs every Sunday before church - rain or shine. This is when I realized that God was showing up each week to run with us. I didn't realize it at first, but week after week He was leading us. You see, this early morning run with my friend became way more than just training for a run. We grew closer as we shared our stories, our dreams and heartaches. We laughed hard at times while we ran and other times we became very quiet as we reflected on what God was showing us in our lives. We continued to cheer each other on and pat each others backs as we ran these long runs faster than ever before. Our pace was around 9 min. miles. We were feelin pretty darn good about ourselves! Maybe this is when our little enemy pride showed up to run with us. We continued to have deep spiritual talks and solved many of the worlds problems as we ran, but we were running in our own strength. About a month before the big day, Kathleen hurt her back at the gym. It was bad. She could hardly move. But my friend is determined (some would say strong-willed, not me, but some). She recovered enough by our next long run Sunday and we ran. Her hamstring started to hurt. Not just a little, but enough to bring tears to her eyes. We stretched, walked, ran and repeated this for about 8 miles. About 2 weeks before the race, we headed out to the American River Trail to do a 12 mile run. This was our last long run and we were excited. It was such a beautiful morning. The weather was cool - perfect for running. At mile 5, Kathleen was in pain. She stopped to stretch and re-fuel to try to get her hamstring going again. I continued to mile 6 and turned around to meet back up with her. When we took off, her knee wouldn't bend and the pain was excruciating. As I walked and she limped back - 6 miles....the beauty of the morning disappeared. I was freezing and she was in so much pain. It was horrible. All I could do was pray. We made it back to the car and she was miserable. I was sure that I would be doing the Shamrockin alone. I was pretty sure she blew her knee out. She went to physical therapy for the next few weeks and rested as much as possible for Kathleen. Most would have been on the couch, but her idea of rest is to still do short 2 mile runs and continue to strength train. She kept reassuring me that she would be doing this 1/2 no matter what, even if she had to crawl. You see, it was her birthday as well and this was her first half marathon. We trained hard and othing was stopping her. We both just prayed and prayed for healing. In the meantime, I started having some pain down my whole right leg - from butt to ankle. I had a massage and found out I was dealing with some sciatica - grrrr! The day before the race, I was in so much pain. I iced my hip and butt on and off all day and took Advil every 4 hours. Sunday morning I felt alot better, but what about the birthday girl? Well, God performed a miracle. She felt great too.
I mentioned pride a little bit ago for a reason. Pride did show up and try to interfere with our running. Thankfully, God was there too and was able to help us fight pride away on the day of the big race. In case you don't know this about me, I am slightly competitive. Since this was my 3rd 1/2, I wanted to finish faster than the others. Oh, how I wanted to run like a cheetah! Well, competitiveness and pride take a backseat to loyalty and friendship. Kathleen kept repeating, "Slow, steady, fun". I decided to keep my pace slow, especially since with every stride I felt my hip pain slightly. We were all prayed up before this run and many friends and family were praying too. I felt this incredible sense of peace wash over me. As we ran we solved more world problems, made a business plan, talked about our kids, husbands, retreat and the Lord. We both felt so good. No pain. I started to get excited and sped up a little. When Kathleen said something like "slow down sista" I did. She was so disciplined and such an encourager. If it wasn't for her, "Slow, steady, fun" chant, I would have ran like a cheetah and then crawled like a snake by mile 5. When the mile marker 9 appeared, so did some pain. Every step was killing me. I had shooting pain down my leg. At mile 10, I still felt it, but I also felt such comfort. It is hard to explain. The only explanation is that my loving Father scooped me up in His strong arms and carried me to the finish line. I was still in some pain, but the joy, comfort and love that I was feeling overpowered it. We crossed the finish line and it was at that moment that I realized that the lesson I learned was that all these great accomplishments that I can do, can oly be done because He carried me. He gets all the glory! I learned that when I rely on myself and forget that He is with me, pride shows up and I get hurt. I learned that I need to slow down. Not just in running, but life. He has some great things planned for my life. If I don't slow down I am going to miss it. When life gets hard, reach up your arms to your Daddy, He will carry you and whisper sweet accolades and encouragement to you!
On Thanksgiving morning, 2010, my friend Kathleen and I ran a 10K. Prior to this event, I was running about 3 miles every few days, but anything above 4 just about killed me. We ran the Turkey Trot faster than we had ever done a 10k before. I felt so good. Kathleen and I looked at each other shaking our heads as we agreed that yes, we were in fact studs! We signed up for the Shamrockin 1/2 marathon the next day and began training the week of Christmas. We did our long runs every Sunday before church - rain or shine. This is when I realized that God was showing up each week to run with us. I didn't realize it at first, but week after week He was leading us. You see, this early morning run with my friend became way more than just training for a run. We grew closer as we shared our stories, our dreams and heartaches. We laughed hard at times while we ran and other times we became very quiet as we reflected on what God was showing us in our lives. We continued to cheer each other on and pat each others backs as we ran these long runs faster than ever before. Our pace was around 9 min. miles. We were feelin pretty darn good about ourselves! Maybe this is when our little enemy pride showed up to run with us. We continued to have deep spiritual talks and solved many of the worlds problems as we ran, but we were running in our own strength. About a month before the big day, Kathleen hurt her back at the gym. It was bad. She could hardly move. But my friend is determined (some would say strong-willed, not me, but some). She recovered enough by our next long run Sunday and we ran. Her hamstring started to hurt. Not just a little, but enough to bring tears to her eyes. We stretched, walked, ran and repeated this for about 8 miles. About 2 weeks before the race, we headed out to the American River Trail to do a 12 mile run. This was our last long run and we were excited. It was such a beautiful morning. The weather was cool - perfect for running. At mile 5, Kathleen was in pain. She stopped to stretch and re-fuel to try to get her hamstring going again. I continued to mile 6 and turned around to meet back up with her. When we took off, her knee wouldn't bend and the pain was excruciating. As I walked and she limped back - 6 miles....the beauty of the morning disappeared. I was freezing and she was in so much pain. It was horrible. All I could do was pray. We made it back to the car and she was miserable. I was sure that I would be doing the Shamrockin alone. I was pretty sure she blew her knee out. She went to physical therapy for the next few weeks and rested as much as possible for Kathleen. Most would have been on the couch, but her idea of rest is to still do short 2 mile runs and continue to strength train. She kept reassuring me that she would be doing this 1/2 no matter what, even if she had to crawl. You see, it was her birthday as well and this was her first half marathon. We trained hard and othing was stopping her. We both just prayed and prayed for healing. In the meantime, I started having some pain down my whole right leg - from butt to ankle. I had a massage and found out I was dealing with some sciatica - grrrr! The day before the race, I was in so much pain. I iced my hip and butt on and off all day and took Advil every 4 hours. Sunday morning I felt alot better, but what about the birthday girl? Well, God performed a miracle. She felt great too.
I mentioned pride a little bit ago for a reason. Pride did show up and try to interfere with our running. Thankfully, God was there too and was able to help us fight pride away on the day of the big race. In case you don't know this about me, I am slightly competitive. Since this was my 3rd 1/2, I wanted to finish faster than the others. Oh, how I wanted to run like a cheetah! Well, competitiveness and pride take a backseat to loyalty and friendship. Kathleen kept repeating, "Slow, steady, fun". I decided to keep my pace slow, especially since with every stride I felt my hip pain slightly. We were all prayed up before this run and many friends and family were praying too. I felt this incredible sense of peace wash over me. As we ran we solved more world problems, made a business plan, talked about our kids, husbands, retreat and the Lord. We both felt so good. No pain. I started to get excited and sped up a little. When Kathleen said something like "slow down sista" I did. She was so disciplined and such an encourager. If it wasn't for her, "Slow, steady, fun" chant, I would have ran like a cheetah and then crawled like a snake by mile 5. When the mile marker 9 appeared, so did some pain. Every step was killing me. I had shooting pain down my leg. At mile 10, I still felt it, but I also felt such comfort. It is hard to explain. The only explanation is that my loving Father scooped me up in His strong arms and carried me to the finish line. I was still in some pain, but the joy, comfort and love that I was feeling overpowered it. We crossed the finish line and it was at that moment that I realized that the lesson I learned was that all these great accomplishments that I can do, can oly be done because He carried me. He gets all the glory! I learned that when I rely on myself and forget that He is with me, pride shows up and I get hurt. I learned that I need to slow down. Not just in running, but life. He has some great things planned for my life. If I don't slow down I am going to miss it. When life gets hard, reach up your arms to your Daddy, He will carry you and whisper sweet accolades and encouragement to you!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Rest Days
With January coming to a close, my resolve to stick to my goals seems to dwindle. I am one of those people that love to sit down at the crack of dawn on New Years Day when the household is sleeping; pen and journal in hand. I look back over the year and beat myself up for not losing the 10 lbs, not reading the Bible 365 days and am not any closer to being organized. Then I look at all to be thankful for and write out the next year's goals. As I glanced at my calendar this morning and realized I only have 4 more days to lose 4 more pounds, I started to get a little discouraged. Before I fell into a deep depression and throw in the towel, I decided to take a deep breath and look at all that I did accomplish so far this month.
I started training for a 1/2 marathon. This will be my 3rd time, but the previous ones I ran/walked. This time I am running the whole thing. The furthest I have ever ran is 6.2 miles before training started. I am now up to 10 miles. Besides running, my strength training workouts are right on track. I have some muscle definition in places that I didn't think I would - like my abs! Besides fitness, this month I may have not been in my Bible daily, but my prayer life has improved.
It is so easy for my to go down the trail of negativity with myself. I learned a few years ago that it does absolutely no good. It does not motivate me to get on track. What helps though is looking back at all that is going well. This truly is motivating for me. I am learning that as important as spending time in God's Word, He isn't up in Heaven keeping a tally sheet of how many times a week I read the Bible. What is important is purposefully pursuing a deeper relationship with Him. Some seasons of our lives are crazier than others and He is so gracious to us. He understands. Anyway, I digress...
As a personal trainer, I educate my clients on how important it is to take a rest day each week. Our bodies need the time to repair and build the muscles. I KNOW this. Besides being one of those crazy people that make resolutions, I also keep track of all of my workouts. This past Tuesday, I was so tired and my muscles were so sore. I knew I needed to rest. I looked at my workout calendar and realized I worked out 13 straight days. No wonder! You would think that knowing this I would be happy to rest. I actually felt guilty on top of feeling blah! My mood was grouchy and I didn't make very good food choices. As I layed in bed that night, I learned two things. The first, I am addicted to the endorphins! The other lesson learned is that I am out of balance. Yes, exercise is vital, but so is rest. I wasted this rest day being grouchy. Next week when I have my rest day, I am going to include Jesus. I am going to rest in Him. This is where the balance comes in. There are numerous verses that give us not only permission, but God commands us to rest in the fourth commandment! Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
With only four more days of January, I am exactly where God wants me to be...resting in Him!
I started training for a 1/2 marathon. This will be my 3rd time, but the previous ones I ran/walked. This time I am running the whole thing. The furthest I have ever ran is 6.2 miles before training started. I am now up to 10 miles. Besides running, my strength training workouts are right on track. I have some muscle definition in places that I didn't think I would - like my abs! Besides fitness, this month I may have not been in my Bible daily, but my prayer life has improved.
It is so easy for my to go down the trail of negativity with myself. I learned a few years ago that it does absolutely no good. It does not motivate me to get on track. What helps though is looking back at all that is going well. This truly is motivating for me. I am learning that as important as spending time in God's Word, He isn't up in Heaven keeping a tally sheet of how many times a week I read the Bible. What is important is purposefully pursuing a deeper relationship with Him. Some seasons of our lives are crazier than others and He is so gracious to us. He understands. Anyway, I digress...
As a personal trainer, I educate my clients on how important it is to take a rest day each week. Our bodies need the time to repair and build the muscles. I KNOW this. Besides being one of those crazy people that make resolutions, I also keep track of all of my workouts. This past Tuesday, I was so tired and my muscles were so sore. I knew I needed to rest. I looked at my workout calendar and realized I worked out 13 straight days. No wonder! You would think that knowing this I would be happy to rest. I actually felt guilty on top of feeling blah! My mood was grouchy and I didn't make very good food choices. As I layed in bed that night, I learned two things. The first, I am addicted to the endorphins! The other lesson learned is that I am out of balance. Yes, exercise is vital, but so is rest. I wasted this rest day being grouchy. Next week when I have my rest day, I am going to include Jesus. I am going to rest in Him. This is where the balance comes in. There are numerous verses that give us not only permission, but God commands us to rest in the fourth commandment! Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
With only four more days of January, I am exactly where God wants me to be...resting in Him!
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